The feeling of failure

Do you ever feel as if though your failing as a parent?

As a millennial mama who had her baby at 19 and fresh out of high school, I’m constantly having an inner battle with myself.

You have the gentle parenting, attachment parenting, downsized parenting, RIE parenting, and granola (crunchy) parenting.

That’s just to name a few and honestly I don’t even know what they all mean!

Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit into these parenting styles and I’m ok with that.

Other times I feel as though I’m doing a disadvantage to Shawn by not falling into one of these categories.

Am I doing enough for him?

Is it bad that we still live with my parents?

Am I too passive?

Do I yell too much, maybe not enough?

Did I set enough boundaries, did I set too many boundaries?

Honestly I could go on and on, my brain sometimes just won’t shut up!

Now don’t get me wrong…

I think Shawn’s an amazing kid even though our biggest issue (or what I think is the biggest issue) is having a picky eater.

We are constantly (ok maybe not that constant but it feels like it) fighting and pleading with him to just TRY the veggies in front of him before he decides he doesn’t like them.

But what I’ve come to realize is that I have an amazing, kind, emotional, and caring little spirit.

He’s not starving, although I’m not sure just how healthy his diet is.

He has a roof over his head, granted we do share a room but it is what it is for the time being.

We know this living situation is not permanent.

He has clothes that fit, and shoes that don’t have holes in them (except for the pair that he refuses to let me throw away because they’re his favorite).

So mom and dad must be doing something right, right?!

But yet, I still find myself comparing myself with others.

What are they doing that I’m not?

Here’s the thing, we live in a time where we only see what people want us to see.

I mean if you see my Instagram we’re happy, healthy, and nothings wrong.

But what you don’t see is the constant stress.

The constant fight I’m having with myself to hurry and get out on our own, to get him to be eat better, to live a less toxic lifestyle.

My inner mom bully starts up and it’s “Shawns not eating organic, why are you feeding him that processed crap, he needs MORE veggies you’re failing! Teach him Spanish or it’s your fault that he’ll be at a disadvantage later in his life! The boy is in desperate need of his own space you can’t co mingle in the same room forever!”

“Los únicos brazos que siempre encontrarás cuando necesites un abrazo son los de tu madre.” – Anonymous

So when I start to do this I just step back and remind myself of what a great kid Shawn is and how we’re doing our absolute best with him!

So if your like me, a mama who finds herself judging intently, just remember that you are doing your best!

There’s no need to make everything a competition. I have to constantly remind myself that the ONLY parent I need to be better than is the parent I was yesterday!

Honestly it doesn’t matter if your organized, if you have a parenting method, or if your winging this parenting thing….at the end of the day your kids will show you the kind of parent THEY need.

These little people have a mind of their own and they are BOSSY (in a CFO way not like a leader of the mafia way)!

So I’m sure whatever kind of parent you thought you would be has somewhat shifted since pregnancy.

I mean we’re all just trying to make sure our kids don’t lose any limbs or are too emotionally scarred on their way to adulthood.

Remember you are NOT failing!

You are doing your BEST.

I believe you know exactly what YOUR (not anyone else’s) kid/kids need!

Follow your heart, your gut, and just have FAITH that you’re raising your kids as best as you know how!

2 thoughts on “The feeling of failure

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